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| Adam and Eve: Relationship |
| Tuesday, October 09, 2007 |
I think I told a lot of people before that in this new century, many girls are independent and do not need a partner, and by that I meant life partner. That includes me, myself and I. There are also people who said that God made us as one and not half so there's no such thing as 'the other half'. But I've just learned that God wants us to appreciate relationships just like the relationship between Him and us, and also that we love because He first loved us.
God awakens the knowledge in Adam that he is not a self-sufficient individual. He takes Adam through the experience of observing and naming the creatures He had made. Imagine Adam's delight at seeing a deer run or a bird take off and soar. He notices how every creature had a companion. Then, something wakes within Adam: where is his counterpart? The core of his being stirs with desire for another human to relate to and share his life. Now he is ready to appreciate what God is about to do. God operates on Adam, taking the very life that is in him, forming a counterpart, someone who is distinct-an independent person with her own body and soul-yet someone who is part of his very being.
Adam awakes and gasps, 'Finally! Bone of my bone! Flesh of my flesh! The other part of me!' (based on Gen 2:23) 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh' (Gen 2:24).
This is the foundation of marriage: a man and a woman, leaving the families they grew up in, being united as a single entity, They are one being, yet they do not lose their distinctiveness.
And so, I've changed my point of view about relationships.
Jack and Judith Balswick presented a model derived from an examination of relationship principles that are found in the Bible that show how God enters into and sustains relationship with humanity and through the diagram, Jack and Judith summarise: 'The logical beginning point of any family relationship is a covenant commitment, which has unconditional love at its core. Out of the security provided by this covenant love, grace develops. In this atmosphere of grace, family members have the freedom to empower one another. Empowerment leads to the possibility of intimacy among family members. Intimacy then leads back to a deeper level of covenant commitment.'
Covenant: To Love and Be Loved
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God...And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us... There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear...We love because He first loved us" (1 Jn 4:7)
Knowing what it is to be loved by God unconditionally gives us the capacity to love one another like that too. Marriage is this covenant- not a contract that remains in force as long as I feel I am getting benefits, but a commitment to love unselfishly, unconditionally, faithfully.
Grace: To Forgive and Be Forgiven
God's covenant people, are utterly dependent on His grace. Jesus took the death that should have been ours, and gave us life. As He forgives our trespasses, He also calls us to forgive those who trespass against us. Most often, that's our family.
It is the people who are close to you who hurt you the most. Our natural reaction is to withdraw to where we won't get hurt, or to retaliate and hurt back, or to escape into a different world. Grace does none of these. In the incarnation, God came close, putting himself where we could really hurt Him, to devise a way so we need not remain estranged from Him.
The covenant setting provides the security, the safety, the boundaries for the relationship. And within the covenant love, grace flourishes.
Empowerment: To Serve and Be Served
In the game of Monopoly, you buy up the squares and build houses. Do this faster than the other players and you win. The board has a limited squares, so as you gain power, others lose. So who has the power in your relationships? Do you seize the opportunities to ensure you get the best deal? Underlying this grasping mindset is an assumption that power is available in limited supply. If there is an unlimited supply, you don't have to compete for the same Monopoly squares. You don't have to lose anything for your partner to become all that God created them to be! In fact, when your spouse is empowered to be all that God has in mind for them, you will have the best mate! God has unlimited supply of power. In view of God's unlimited power, there is no need to seize power. When you are secure in what God is doing in you, you are freed to serve, to uplift, to empower, without fear.
Intimacy: To Know and Be Known
Where there is competition for power, there is mistrusts, isolation, fear, keeping distance. Where people serve and empower each other, there is community, interdependency, empathy, intimacy. This is what we were created for. In the incarnation, God came close to us so we can know Him. By faith, we open up to Him, acknowledge out need of a Saviour, and become sons of the Father. He encourages us to share our deepest thoughts and feelings with Him, in prayer.
There is nothing as revealing as seeing yourself in someone else's eyes. Real intimacy is built on:
- Empathy: spending time together, listening, understanding, accepting, encouraging.
- Openness: being honest about problems, fears, weaknesses, facing the unresolved together.
- Hope: communicating trust, extending forgiveness, staying vulnerable, expecting God's involvement.
Intimacy depends on:
- Commitment ( a safe setting for love to be expressed)
- Grace ( forgiveness and acceptance of each other)
- Empowering ( a willingness to serve and build each other up)
And so the cycle grows. Intimacy leads to stronger commitment. Commitment enhances the expression of grace. Grace serves by empowering even more, and that leads to deeper intimacy.
THIS is how God defines our human relationships and how to love as He first loved us. God's love is not a saccharine-sweet feel-good stuff. The way God loves us involves a cross: blood, sweat and tears. But it works! And we love, because He first loved us.
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posted by Jacqueline @ 9:45 PM  |
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| About Me |
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Name: Jacqueline
Location: Perth, WA, Australia
About Me: A medical science student staying in a peaceful city trying to live and enjoy a life as peaceful as possible
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